Listen Up

Loreena McKennitt is a must for getting into Eiren's head and heart. I often write to music, and the right song is sometimes the only way to slip into a place where I can actually forget the mundane and drift into the fantastic, the otherworldly, the weird. It's why most nights you'll find me at my little writing desk, studying a screen and a jam jar half-full with wine, ear buds firmly plugging me up against distraction.

What do I like to write to? Here are a few of my favorites.

There's an energy to the Yoshida Brothers' music that just makes me feel like I'm whipping over some wild and unknowable landscape.

Loreena McKennitt  is an oldie but an oh-so-goodie. "The Mystic's Dream" transports me into the secret places of Eiren's world. I actually listened to her a whole lot while writing the draft that grew up to be the first draft of The Hidden Icon. It was a different story with the same heart, but trust me when I tell you that it was a mess and you never want to read it.

If I find I need to feel some feelings, Damien Rice rarely lets me down. The Avett Brothers are pretty good for this, too.

Bonobo is another that pulls me instantly out of myself and into the narrative.

And because it just wouldn't be right not to mention it, Gannet actually has his own song: Beck's "Nobody's Fault But My Own." It has some of the same haunting quality of other things that I listen to, and it just speaks to that secret, troubled dude.

Also, that hot mess of a draft? I was so young. Forgive the dance scene with a strange variation of this tune to inspire me. There's a reason it was cut, even if I do fancy it now and again when I've drained that jam jar.

Turn and Face the Strange

1384191_177508902442195_1041543599_nI'm homeless. Or rather, my book is about to be.

My publisher, Fable Press, is succumbing to the fate that befalls many a small press and closing their doors within the next few months. I'll forever be grateful to them for taking a chance on my work and on me, and for bringing the world within The Hidden Icon to so many new readers.

I took a chance with them, too, and I don't regret it. I don't think it's possible to regret being published, ever, no matter the outcome. I got to feel like a Very Real Writer at Ohioana. The Hidden Icon was featured by my publisher at BEA last year. Friends and family members frequently shared photographs of my book on the shelves of their local libraries, and I scribbled my name in all of the copies at my favorite local bookstore.

People said crazy amazing things about it.

"Jillian is one of those rare writers whose characters communicate with a brush of hands what people in bodice rippers need pages of purple prose to say. The ending brought the house down."

"As a lifelong fan of fantasy, I have learned to settle for quick, flat characterization at times and for shaky or lazy world-building at others. I did not have to settle at all reading this book, and what a joy that was!"

"This book was written with flair, grace, and intricacy; it teased my brain, played with my heart, and left me desperate for more."

So, what's next?

Choosing not to self-publish means The Hidden Icon will no longer be available for sale on Amazon, so, get it while the gettin's good. Or, snag a copy for free. I'll be running several giveaways over the next few weeks on Goodreads. Rights to the book will revert to me soon, so, hopefully it will be out there in the world again someday.

I'll be starting closer to scratch than I thought it would be when it comes time to pitch the second book, but I'm not (too) scared. I can't be. There's too much writing and baking and loving on babies and living to be done.

 

Write Every Damn Day

Write every damn day. As a cat person, I largely ignore pictures of dogs. But a friend shared one the other day that made me giggle, and also cringe. I gringed? Criggled? Anyway.

It was intended to be funny to us writerly types who know what we're supposed to do but don't do it. The picture of the dog was captioned with advice for those who wish to finish a project, and it said simply, "Sit. Stay."

If a dog can do it, why can't I? *

When I read Amy Poehler's Yes Please a few weeks ago, I never expected that it would resonate with me in the ways that it did. I knew I would love it, because, Amy Poehler. But as a writer? "The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is not the thing," she writes. And it's so damned true I ought to get a tattoo. I stew about projects and that's important, but it's not enough. The hardest, hardest part about the best advice for writers is that it should be easy. But it isn't.

Write every day. Even just a little bit at a time eventually equals a book, but I've been flirting with 50K for far longer than I care to admit. I have reasons - I am married to a Scorpio, I am the mother of two very young children, I work and work and work - but I also have excuses, which I readily employ when given an evening to write and spend it doing other things. I clean out a closet or weed my Facebook friends. I hand wash dishes. I re-organize the playroom. This loathsome stuff can wait. The writing can't, and shouldn't, but it does. Why?

Because it's hard. Because I'm tired. Because some evenings I'm crippled by the thought of being bound to what's out there, what's already written and read by people who aren't my best friend. Readers' expectations can be as terrifying as they are thrilling. But other evenings? Having readers makes it easy.

The zealots of stone and flesh fought on, those who dared come close vanishing in a sickly puff of smoke and oil and ash. I had the power to reduce a score of women to smudges, the stink of grease, but could not save even one. 

Hammering out that little gem today and sharing it reminded me why I do what I do instead of catching up on sleep. I don't write every day. But even getting a two or three-day streak in makes me feel like I could conquer my little domestic round of a world with a jelly jar of wine, a pair of earbuds, and an outdated version of Microsoft Office. I can do it. I should do it. I just need to learn to sit. I need to learn to stay.

 

* Maybe because I am a cat person?

I Don't Write in Costume, But if I Did...

This artist did a killer job of capturing Sabriel's badassness, no? I love costuming and cosplay, which is actually not the nerdiest thing there is to know about me, but still.

I am especially fond of book cosplay, which is perhaps why, though I rail against descriptions of mundane clothes in books - who cares how distressed your boyfriend's jeans are, YA heroine? - I love, love, love when a character's garb is unusual or symbolic in some way and the author takes some time to describe it in detail. Because these things make great costumes; specifically, great costumes I wish I had the time and resources to make, and the opportunity to squeal in delight when recognized at a con.

I've had a dream of cosplaying Sabriel from Garth Nix's Abhorsen trilogy for years and may yet, if I can connive a method of embroidering dozens of silver keys on a great swathe of surcoat fabric. And, you know, find seven bells of graduating sizes, because this cosplayer has not yet ventured into the realm of mold making, and probably should resist dumping money into yet another hobby.

What I love about Nix's descriptions isn't just that the clothes are beautiful, but that they have meaning in the world the characters occupy, that they're instantly recognizable, that their weight is both physical and figurative. I felt the same way when reading Leigh Bardugo's Grisha series, with the keftas. How freakin' cool are the keftas?! Likewise the stillsuits in Dune.

As a writer, I've had characters glancing in mirrors beaten out of me, so sneaking in the opportunity to dress somebody requires a bit of creativity. There was one passage, in particular, where I allowed myself to linger describing a garment that Eiren wears late in the book:

"Embroidered along the hood and sleeves were... detailed renderings, scenes and figures playing out the details of their lives.

But it was not any life, it was mine. My mother carried me as an infant from the birthing chair to my father’s arms, Jurnus and I raced through the streets and the sand. I bent my head in prayer, I burned ritual herbs, I braided Esbat’s hair and soothed Lista’s vanity. I went into exile with my parents, brother, and sisters. The figures were tiny and but a handful of knots each, but I recognized them all, and could see when Morainn and Gannet entered my life, crawling dark and glinting with gilded thread in the capitol tower.

We looked like figures of myth, all splashes of color and fine, spidery features. It was breathtaking, and I could hardly imagine wearing such a life for all I had lived it."

While I would never cosplay one of my own characters, it is perhaps a not-so-secret and ridiculously vain writerly hope of mine that somebody else someday might want to. I've got some very particular notions about Gannet's mask that defy description, if anyone's interested.

My Writing Process: Like the Borg, I Adapt

A Map of a Writer's Mind by Anne EmondThe delightful Bill Blume was kind enough to think of me to join him in participating in a chain letter blog tour where writers have the opportunity to discuss their writing process. I think it says quite a lot about mine that I was supposed to post this yesterday, but am only just getting to it now because I put off packing for a trip to San Francisco to watch Knights of Badassdom, and thus arrived in the other windy city on four hours sleep, contemplating a hilariously terrible - or a terribly hilarious, I haven't decided yet - film. So, writing. Sleep deprivation. Life.

There are some questions I'm meant to answer, firstly, what am I working on? Presently, I'm slogging through a draft of the sequel to - and likely conclusion of the series begun in The Hidden Icon. While I wrote the first book without an outline, and then rewrote it without an outline, and then finally decided that whole chapters full of people doing nothing but talking really needed addressing... I have major plot points for this one appropriately plotted out, and lots of really useful notes that say things like, "Do this!" and "Don't do that!" I'm halfway through the writing, which is to say, I haven't even gotten to the hard stuff yet.

Am I supposed to be honest, too? I should probably lie. Real writers lie.

Secondly, I'm to consider how my work differs from others writing in the genre. One of the things that I feel really sets The Hidden Icon apart from other high fantasy novels is the richness of the mythology of the world, and the double-and-sometimes-triple storytelling that goes on when Eiren, or occasionally other characters, spin a tale. It's part of the charm of writing in her world, for me, and I hope part of the charm of reading, too.

Which segues rather nicely into why I write what I do. As a girl I remember visiting the library in my grade school and meticulously working my way through the two shelves of fairy tales - and let's be real, I checked out Princess Furball loads of times; someday I need to write something with moonbeam dresses folded neatly into nutshells - because there's just something about folklore and fairy stories that appeals immensely to me. Fairy tales can be dark and delightful, as we can be dark and delightful. I've got lots of ideas for lots of things, but little tales that blossom into big ones, stories with whimsy but gravity, too, are where I'm living now.

And now I must tell you how my writing process works, which suggests, perhaps unfairly, that it does (or at least, always does). Perhaps it was something she said when I swooned over her at Kenyon a few years ago or something that I read, but Margaret Atwood, apparently, used to and maybe still does write lying down on the floor on her belly. No desk for the prolific. That's the first thing I always think about when I think of writing processes, and how specific a detail I feel like I need to provide when considering mine. But I can't.

I've touched on this before, but my process is all about adaptation. I do what I can, when I can, where I can, and I don't let myself think too much about it. Doing is what's important, not how or how much. In the past Cory Doctorow's recommendations to write for twenty minutes a day, and especially leaving off mid-sentence, have been tremendously fruitful for me, and when I adhere to anything like a process, it's to that. It's not always easy, but it's certainly easier than pinning myself to a word count and berating myself when I don't meet it - or worse still, not starting writing because I know I can't. It's writing, every day, that I can feel good about.

Next week be sure to pop in and see what Melissa Long (also writing as Missy Lynn Ryan) has to say on the subject, and hound her for her supernatural match maker novel I've been dying to read for years. The inimitable Laura Bickle of salamander and Amish vampire fame will also be writing next week, and Megan Orsini of The Great Noveling Adventure is sure to have some sassy and sage-like things to describe her process.

Charisma is a Class Skill

I've leveled up as a writer. I've leveled up as a writer.

Or, if you're more of a classic console type, I've punched my head into a brick, blinking with promise, and stumbled over the great fungal accolade that is an invitation to a writer's conference.

I was recently accepted to the Ohioana Book Festival, and I've been haunting their website in hopes of seeing whose company I won't be worthy of keeping (not to mention the many readers of my forever-home state). There will be books. There will be food trucks. There will be many readers licking greasy fingers before lovingly turning the pages of their latest acquisitions from the book fair. Who knows, maybe I'll even sign a book or two and my chicken scratch will seem enigmatic rather than the academic handicap it has been since high school. At the very least, all festival authors are asked to participate in at least one panel, and as I expect lame video game references won't be welcome, I'll keep you posted about my schedule on the events page.

And there will be ZenCha. Because a visit to Columbus without a visit to the Short North to guzzle tea would be unheard of. Don't make me drink alone?

The festival is on 10 May, which also seems like rather a good deadline to finish the draft of book two. It hounds me day and night as relentlessly as my toddler daughter but would, if books had the equivalent of child protective services, be seized for neglect. I suppose it's a good thing books don't have rights.

Yet.

Have Yourself a Bookish Little Christmas

The Two Sisters by Jillian Kuhlmann. Companion piece to The Hidden Icon.Free stories on Christmas? Yes, please. While the only book I've had the opportunity to cuddle up with today features more talking animals than I care for, for you I have something completely different. My distrust of talking animals is another blog alltogether. The Two Sisters is an itty bitty companion piece to The Hidden Icon, and it is, I hope, a treat for folks who've already read the novel and those who haven't yet. It's relatively spoiler-free - if you've read the back cover you're safe, seriously - and offers a vignette-like introduction to two of the novel's main characters. Step (just a little) outside the narrative of The Hidden Icon for a story within a story, a tale of sisters in spirit and flesh, of haunts and unexpected sacrifices.

I wasted I don't want to tell you how much time formatting it for the Kindle, only to find I can't offer it for free in that format, so, I've only got a .pdf for you. You can download it here. The .pdf also includes the first two chapters of The Hidden Icon because, as my most excellent publisher recommended, why not? If you spend half as much time salivating over the cover as I did - Mara Stokke does absolutely beautiful work - and maybe half as much time over again reading, I'll consider this venture a win.

Enjoy and happiest of holidays!

I Love (Fictional) People

Original illustration by Penelope Dullaghan. Of all the times to come to a realization about one’s own reading and writing preferences, today it was a Facebook meme that just stumbled me.

You know the one going around, about the nine books you’ve read that’ve just stuck with you for whatever reason. They’re not necessarily books you’d recommend for the Pulitzer or the Nebula or the Newberry, but they might be. Mostly they’re the stories that work their way into your bloodstream and your muscles and your bones. No matter how many Great Works of Literature you’ve read, these books are the books that really flipped your switch, as my pal Patrick Donovan would say.

In thinking on my nine, I recalled a book my best friend and I each acquired at a school book fair. (How those were the greatest thing in the universe, next perhaps to the school days where we got to wear our pajamas and read in the library all day, is another blog post.) The book was Sherryl Jordan’s Winter of Fire. It consumed us. We read it multiple times that year and the year after, and at least once a year every year until we’d graduated high school, I’d wager. Now I’m wondering how it is that twelve, thirteen, fourteen years have gone by and I haven’t read it again, and how in thinking on what it was I loved so much about it, I’m realizing something about the other books I’ve chosen to love, the sorts of books I’ve chosen to write.

Despite being a science fiction/fantasy novel, Winter of Fire was character-driven. The protagonists’ feelings, her relationships with the other characters in the novel, these are the things that I remember. The scenes that are most vivid in my mind are the quiet, contemplative ones, where Jordan isn’t exploring the curious world she’s created but instead the curiouser world of the human heart.

I love unicorns and magic and the surreal, spectacular realms created by many a beloved speculative fiction writer, but what really keeps me in these worlds are the people who populate them. This is why I struggled with The Lord of the Rings and can’t read most books with overtly complicated space travel mechanisms. Unless you’re Mrs. Whatsit I probably don’t care as much about how you get from point A to point B in your starship as I do about the crew, the captain, the conflict. I want the thrill of familiar emotions in an unfamiliar environment. I want those places to be believable and rich, mind, but they’re not the whole of why I’m reading.

What about you?

A Little Perspective

So, tomorrow is release day for The Hidden Icon. I've had so many people, more than I deserve, offer their support and congratulations. I've been asked a lot as the day grows near, "Are you so excited?" And of course I am, absolutely. It's all too unreal to me. I've held the paperback in my hands, opened it and recognized every single word I edited and agonized over (and over and over), scrawled my illegible signature in a couple of advance copies. But overwhelmingly, do you want to know what I'm feeling?

Fear.

I almost didn't even want to write that word and I won't tell you how long I waffled over posting this, but I feel like it's important to be honest. I'm no Wesley Crusher but I do believe that Wil Wheaton provides humans an excellent standard to live by.

"Be honest. Be kind. Be honorable. Work hard. And always be awesome."

This book, come tomorrow, it's not mine anymore. Every word I've written becomes the province of the reader's imagination. The shape of Eiren's nose, the sound of Gannet's voice, their smiles and scars and tracks in the sand will venture, with luck, very far away from me. And there's nothing I can do to stop it (nor would I want to).  I don't expect big or even little success, but I do expect that I will have to learn to share my secret friends, which is what these characters, this world, has been for me for years. I am elated to share them, of course, but I'm terrified, too. How could I not be?

Here's what I hope for: a bigger, badder, grander version of the hyper-eager phone conversations I shared with my best friend when we were teenagers, when we called each other to read passages aloud from the things that we were working on and the the things we were reading, to talk about characters, about adventure, about love. What would send me absolutely over the moon is if we aren't the only ones talking, this time.

Five Favorite Book Characters of All Time

The gals at The Great Noveling Adventure have been a delightful distraction from my writing lately (and they've got some swell stuff for writing, too, for when you're feeling responsible and crafty). In a recent post, one of the writers talked up her five favorite book characters of the year, and it made me want to do the same thing. I only wish I'd read enough this year to have more than a handful of characters to choose from. So instead I'm going to take the easy way out and share my five favorite book characters of all time. Because what isn't fun about all time? These aren't in any particular order, and while some of these books are certainly among my favorites, these characters transcend the page, making me wish for short stories and artist renderings and, gasp, fanfiction.

"I dig American movies. I dig Negroes, particularly Michael Jackson. I dig to disseminate very much currency at famous nightclubs in Odessa... many girls want to be carnal with me in many good arrangements, notwithstanding the Inebriated Kangaroo, the Gorky Tickle, and the Unyielding Zookeeper."

Alex Perchov from Jonathan Safran Foer's Everything is Illuminated is irresistible from the very start. As far as I'm concerned, he's the "hero" of this novel. Never has a character misused so many words so spectacularly.

 ∞

"Remember that while the Clayr can See the future, others make it. I feel that you will be a maker, not a seer. You must promise me that it will be so. Promise me that you will not give in. Promise me that you will never give up hope. Make your future, Lirael!"

Lirael from Garth Nix's Lirael and Abhorsen manages a balance of strength and vulnerability on the page that makes me wonder if perhaps Nix was a teenage girl in another life. She's the rare heroine who can make enormous, childish mistakes, cry about them, and challenge herself to overcome them without ever distancing her reader (at least not this reader).

  ∞

"There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me."

Elizabeth Bennet from Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice demands a place in my esteem forever, and the esteem of most women, I think, of my generation and temperament. She is confident, intelligent, and refuses to compromise who she is despite every expectation that she must.

  ∞

"Curiosity killed the cat,” Fesgao remarked, his dark eyes unreadable. Aly rolled her eyes. Why did everyone say that to her? 

“People always forget the rest of the saying,” she complained. “‘And satisfaction brought it back.” 

Aly Cooper from Tamora Pierce's Trickster's Choice and Trickster's Queen is indomitable. And so funny. I feel like I don't read enough traditional fantasy with a good sense of humor, but Aly really carried me into this series after many failed attempts to read Pierce's other works.

  ∞

"You show the man you are when you insult me thus," I said very quietly.

"And what sort of man is that?"

"A man with no sense of right or wrong. A man who cannot laugh and who rules by fear. A -- a man with no respect for women."

There was a moment's silence.

"And on what do you base this judgment?" he asked eventually. "You have spent but the briefest time in my company. Already you believe me some kind of monster. You are indeed quick to assess a man's character."

"As are you to judge a woman," I said straightaway.

So, I lied and saved the best for last, and I'm cheating because it's actually two characters. Bran and Liadan from Juliet Marillier's Son of the Shadows are whole and real within minutes of meeting them on the page, but together they make me weep. Marillier has gone on to write a number of Sevenwaters novels, and most of them have been highly enjoyable, but still. All I want is more of these two, forever.

... I can't promise I won't do this again with my biggest fictional crushes. Or favorite fictional worlds, because, nobody from Harry Potter even made this list because I'm really just in love with Rowling's world building. But for now, who's on your list?